I guess you have to be an animal lover or own a pet to understand how I am feeling.............

My wife rescued Spike, a min pin seven years ago at age 5 and what a sweet little dog he is.  He had a seisure 18 months ago and we thought
we were going to loose him but he bounced back to our surprise and enjoyment. He turned 12 on July 24th and  on July 27th the vet looked at the lumps that we saw forming on his neck and legs and ran some tests.  We learned on Aug 3rd he has lymphnoma (sp?)..  Kemo was thought about and giving consideration to what it will put our buddy through in addition to the expense it was a slight chance to maybe gain 3 or 4 months which wouldn't be quality months for him and didn't want to be selfish just to keep him around longer.    We decided to put him on a medication to keep the swelling down but it is only for a short while since it can only be used for a few weeks.     The pills are almost gone and we can see the lumps starting to spread and enlarge.  I feel like a piece of my heart is being pulled away day by day.    We have been spoiling him constantly trying to enjoy every day he has left.   It's been gut wrenching experience and It's been really hard as his time gets near especially since he actually feels good and doesn't know what's going to happen. Whoever says a grown man can't cry is so wrong.

Just had to vent this.

Manmaid you have my deepest sympathy’s for your loss. I too have felt the devastation of losing your best furry friend.  Just know that he is pain free now

T.Peterson:

Manmaid you have my deepest sympathy’s for your loss. I too have felt the devastation of losing your best furry friend.  Just know that he is pain free now

Thanks for the kind words..  He's still with us for now....

Hi Manmaid,

I'm not a dog person at all but I can surely understand what you are going through and worse, what you are about to go through. It's the worst and really, not all that different than loosing a real human being.

My mom once bought me an Irish Setter as a "welcome home" gift. It's the only dog I've owned and will ever own.  It was gut wrenching when she died and I was so depressed I actually had to take a week off from work.

Please know I'm thinking of your family during this tough time...

 Maria 

I will admit, reading your story brought a tear back in my eye.  It has been a couple of years since I lost my dog to cancer.  Cry , you bet, I was really sad.  Dogs are the best, they give love unconditionally.  I feel for you. 

manmaid:

T.Peterson:

Manmaid you have my deepest sympathy’s for your loss. I too have felt the devastation of losing your best furry friend.  Just know that he is pain free now

Thanks for the kind words..  He's still with us for now....

I'm sorry, I guess I miss read your post (or got emotional and assumed that the worse had already happened)  

 I am so sorry that you are going through this.  We have a sweetie furry baby too, and I couldn't imagine losing her in any way.  Be kind to yourself...

Tailored Maid Services:

 I am so sorry that you are going through this.  We have a sweetie furry baby too, and I couldn't imagine losing her in any way.  Be kind to yourself...

After two weeks on a steroid that's slowly being reduced in dosage we're seeing slight changes to his mood.  The lumps under his neck are slowly starting to hinder swallowing but he's tough and bears with it.  He's all about the food and when he starts to not care about eating, then there is serious problems.  We love him and it's a day by day thing so we enjoy every moment with him.  No doubt he's being spoiled even more and can do no wrong...  I try not to show my sadness around him because I beleve animals can sense it...  I don't mind long days as much now....

Thanks for the kind words.

Jimmy

As much as I wanted to hold on to every precious moment with my best friend I felt it was too selfious on my part
to make him continue an unhappy life...    I had to give him peace, the most gut wrenching experience I ever had to endure.

My boy left this world peacefully August 29,2008 at 1PM with me at his side. I miss him so much........

 Jimmy

I know what it feels like to have to make those decisions as to when to let a pet go.  We currently are dealing with the very same thing with our 17 year old German Shepard who is dying before our eyes.  

I know how much you loved your Spike by the words that you have written, I do hope that you are able to find peace in the near future with your loss.

T.Peterson:

 Jimmy

I know what it feels like to have to make those decisions as to when to let a pet go.  We currently are dealing with the very same thing with our 17 year old German Shepard who is dying before our eyes.  

I know how much you loved your Spike by the words that you have written, I do hope that you are able to find peace in the near future with your loss.

I was holding on because of his most enjoyabe thing, eating.    We had been cutting up chunky dog food into very small pieces and soaking dry food so he could swallow it.  It was difficult because of the large lumps at his neck.   After eating his lunch he normally made wierd noises I guess trying to swallow but it was sounding like he was choking this time although he could breath so I rushed him to the vet. Unfortunately my wife was at work at the time.  It was a hard decision to go ahead to put him at peace since whatever was in his throat had cleared.  I knew it was going to happen again and might have been more serious and I didn't want him to go out that way.  The vet was surprised at the size of the lumps and offered x-rays, etc but I knew in my heart that was not going to improve anything.   I wanted to remember him as a healthy happy dog and we coud see it in his eyes that he was just hanging in there for us.  It was so bad picking up my friend who thought he was on his way home for the procedure.   It was supposed to be painless but the shot in his leg made him cry out like I've never heard him do before and that really pissed me off but he slowly laid down as I told him how much we loved him and will always remember him.   I left before the final shot and it's a wonder I made it home trying to see through the tears.   I cried for hours in each room of the house as I walked around seeing his toys, bed, etc.   I removed most of those things last night but it's still hard to hold back the tears today as I walk around the house and outside expecting to see him.  I know time heals but I think it will be a long time.  I just have to stop blaming myself since I did end his suffering and did it out of love.

Thanks to all for the support and wish you and your pets love and peace.
Jimmy

I know exactly what your going through, I went through it with 2 Min-Pins - 4 years ago and just last year.  My husband got me the first one 17 years ago and we had mated her and kept one of the puppies.  At the age of 13 she had been battling with an enlarged heart for 3 years and the vets were amazed she lasted.  She had a stroke one night and lost the use of her front leg, at that time I made the decision to take her and end her suffering.  1 year later her daughter was diagnosed with non-specific tumors.  She fought for 2 years before it started interfering with her bladder and again I made the decision to end her suffering.  I stayed with both until they went to sleep and cried for days on end.  It does get better but we never forget our babies.  Just try to keep reminding yourself how wonderful his life was because of you and your wife.  Don't blame yourself, commend yourself for being kind and selfless.

 Not to steal Spikes thunder, but Jaguar (our German Shepard) joined him Monday night.  The cancerous tumor on his spleen ruptured and spread its poison through out this body.  We found ourselves having to do the humane thing in putting him down.  I too miss my dog 

T.Peterson:

 Not to steal Spikes thunder, but Jaguar (our German Shepard) joined him Monday night.  The cancerous tumor on his spleen ruptured and spread its poison through out this body.  We found ourselves having to do the humane thing in putting him down.  I too miss my dog 

I'm so sorry to hear about Jaguar, my heart goes out to you. 
Pets are family and it's so difficult to cope with their passing. I was doing a little better until Thursday when I went to pick up Spike's
ashes.   Another gut wrenching experience..  A hard thing to figure out is what to do with them now.  Part of me wants to scatter
them in the yard which he loved, bury them, or my first choice was to just hold on to them in the beautiful carved wooden box
thet they were put in.  I think it's just too soon to decide and I don't want to do something that would be regretted later.

Remember the good times, it helps with the healing process.

Jimmy