Will they give me the amount and expect me to pay it immediately?
Yes they'll give you the total. you can make payments, but they'll charge you interest.
Is a business owner able to get a loan to pay for this if it is due immediately?
you can try, but like above they'll let you make payments 90% of the time.
I did call my attorney
forget the Attorney, there an attorney, not an accountant. you need to call an accountant who is a CPA. who ever was your accountant now, fire them they should of knew you needed to pay sales tax's and should have told you. so you might want to start calling some CPA's in your area.
Do they always charge a penalty or can you get that waived?
you can ask to have it waived, if the find it was an honest mistake SOMETIMES, but rarely, they will waive it.
I am quite sure that the majority (if any) of house cleaning services are not paying sales tax in my area.
Doesn't matter, I can imagine a lot of them are not even claiming the money they made, BUT The IRS and State only care about the ones they catch. Best thing is to be as nice and as cooperative with the auditors as possible. if you point fingers at others, and start arguing and making excuses with them, they'll have no mercy.
The Best advice I can give is CALL a Good CPA, make sure they have a office, employees, secretary and been around for a long time, don't hire someone who is doing it in there spare time from home.
Wish you the best of Luck.
RJ Cleaning Service, Inc.
Serving Central Massachusetts
www.rjcleaning.com